Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Terminator Genisys: Surprisingly Awesome

The advanced screening for this was only $12 a ticket at my local cinema, so I thought "Why the hell not? I've seen the first two, so I get the gist. Let's watch Arnie blow stuff up." So I was honestly surprised at how good this movie was. There was a nice balance of humour with action, even if one or two jokes fell flat, like the legions of killer robots set on destroying humanity: there was always another one to take its place. Nods to the first movie were great, and the changes felt genuine, especially Emilia Clarke's Sarah Connor (AKA my new favourite badass). Her acting was brilliant, being strong and vulnerable at all the right moments. Her relationship with Arnie or "Pops" as she calls him, is both adorable and philosophically intriguing.

I'm really irritated with the trailer, for giving away what could've been the biggest plot twist of the movie (I won't spoil it here, but I think those of you who have seen the trailer will know what I'm talking about). But I suppose we'll just have to live with that.



Anyway, I reckon that fans of the franchise will be super pleased with Genisys, with its weird combination of sequel and reboot. But even if you aren't overly familiar with the other films, they summarise what happens in the first 30 minutes or so. Of course the action plays a larger part than the drama and philosophy behind a lot of what's going on; but there's still enough for the inquiring mind to chew on between explosions.

So go for it! Go check this movie out. You may be as surprised as I was. Also don't forget to stay for the mid-credits scene that teases the next film!

Poster from this website

Thursday, 23 April 2015

The Avengers: Age of Awesome

Australia truly is the Lucky Country. Because the new Avengers movie is now screening, a full week before the Americans will get a hold of it (which I find really weird, but I'm not complaining). I stayed up until midnight watching it last night, and now I'm going to give all my non-existent readers the verdict.

Clocking in (I hate that cliche) at 141 minutes total runtime A2 sounded a bit long to me. As such I was surprised to find how quickly the time went; it really is a credit to the pacing of the film. Action sequences blended seamlessly with touching and witty dialogue (lots of witty dialogue) along with the sense of teamwork and friendship which was missing up until the end of A1. The way the Avengers fight now is streamlined and highly co-operative; Cap and Thor in particular make use of their similarly indestructible weapons to take out scores of enemies in a single shot (you see a bit of that in the trailer too).

It's pretty safe to say that everyone has levelled up, to the point where I think the team could make mincemeat of the Chitauri now. Which is good, because Ultron is a hard son of a b*** to take down.

I know there was concern that the trailers for this movie trailed too much, that they would be spoiling the movie. How wrong we were. I would say about 75% of what's in the trailers shows up in the first half hour of the movie; and the rest keeps rolling the punches.

Ultron is amazing. No other way to put it.

My only complaints are that a certain romantic situation didn't seem to work. Just not the right chemistry. And after watching all the credits roll, although Joss Whedon did tell everyone that there wouldn't be a post-credits scene, he wasn't lying. I guess that's not a bad thing; but it is a break from tradition. Plus one other thing which I won't tell you about because it's a spoiler. Suffice to say you'll understand when you watch it.

All in all, a brilliant follow up. I look forward to the memes.

Poster credit: legionofpotatoes

Saturday, 28 February 2015

A Word About Piracy

First of all, I'd like to share a recently learnt fact about the original pirates. The word "buccaneer" actually comes from the French word "boucanier" meaning "user of a boucan" which was a kind of barbeque used for smoking meat for storage on long voyages. Pirates were common users of the boucan, and eventually the word became associated with their trade. So really most people could call themselves a buccaneer without breaking the law.

But what I really want to put my two cents in on is video piracy. Things have been hotting up for pirates these days. Pirate Bay was raided, Kickass Torrents had its domain seized (again), and even Demonoid is still having trouble. Pressure is on in Australia for anti-piracy laws to be passed. Pretty soon ISPs will be the privateers of today; limiting the internet access of suspected pirates in an effort to force piracy rates down.

Honestly this idea is laughable. If there's one thing the government should know about pirates it's that they're incredibly resourceful fiends. The odds of such a scheme making any significant impact on piracy are very low; although the threat of capture may put off some (a bit like a gibbet swinging in the ocean breeze).
Limiting internet access though? In AUSTRALIA? This is a country that can't even co-ordinate a national broadband network without constant stuff-ups. A country with pitiful internet as it is (I myself get by on a mere 20gb per month and an average download rate of around 1mb per second). There's not much left to limit really.

Surely there's a better solution.

I am a pirate. I get up at 6am to use my off-peak data to download tv shows and movies I can't get anywhere else. I'm hurting hundreds, probably thousands, of people who worked their guts out to make the stuff I'm stealing. But this should be a signal for a change in the marketing and sale of these products, not for the punishment of people who would otherwise have to wait weeks, months even, for the content a million other people are enjoying right now.

Sure, Netflix is on its way to Aus right now, along with a couple of competitors; but for a lot of Australians this means nothing. For those of us still stuck on mobile broadband, or fickle ADSL, or just a really crappy data allowance, bufferless YouTube videos can seem like a distant dream, and Netflix is little more than a myth or fairytale.

For us, like the desperate sailors of the 1700s, there is little choice. We could wait months for television to catch up, or the dvd to come out (whichever comes first), and shun the internet for a similar amount of time to avoid the dreaded spoiler. Or, we could sign up to the world-wide pirate crew and claim our share of the entertainment gold which is rightfully ours. For many, the choice is easy, but I know a lot of us feel press-ganged into service.

Take, for example, the recent Australian-made zombie flick Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead. It looks like a fun movie, home grown and bloody good (pun intended). But unfortunately only showing in select cinemas. I respect the 4 years of hard work these people put into making their own movie, and I want to show that respect through a little bit of money. I want to see this movie in a cinema. But it seems like in Australia we can't even be bothered to give our own movies a national release, and the only other place to see them is on the pirate ship.

TV shows are worse. It's less than 2 months until season 5 of GoT comes out. We've only just started screening How To Get Away With Murder. They're advertising it as "the mystery all Australia will be scrambling to solve!" Nope, they'll be scrambling to google it, because the internet already knows. You know our networks once tried to advertise an almost 2 year-old show as "fast-tracked from the US"? It's just ridiculous.

If the government wants to stop piracy, maybe they should take a good hard look at the reasons people turn pirate these days. It's certainly not for lack of respect for the industry, no more than the original pirates lacked respect for gold. Most of us just want a fair go, like many pirates just needed a way to survive, if we don't need to pirate anymore then we won't. Why is that so hard for people to understand? 

Sunday, 15 February 2015

Kingsman: The Secret Service - My Birthday Treat

As you may have guessed, it was my birthday just the other day (providing it doesn't take me a week to finish writing this) and of course I went to see a movie. First I wanted to see Mortdecai, but that's been copping a LOT of flak lately and I wanted a surer bet for my birthday treat.

So here we are with Kingsman: The Secret Service, and what a service it was. A service to spy movies without number (or logic for that matter) and a modern twist on a classic 007 format. The plot is simple: our protagonist, lovable tough-boy Eggsy, through an old friend of his dead father, winds up training to be a gentleman spy for an organisation called Kingsman. Meanwhile a lisping Samuel L Jackson as Valentine and Sofie Boutella as his sword-footed assistant Gazelle take the mantle of Bond-Villains, for what I found to be a thrilling and entertaining ride from start to finish.

There's comedy, action, drama and morality all mixed up together; which suits me down to the ground. Who ever said that movies need to stick to one genre anyhow? So many memorable scenes and wonderful actors. You could watch the whole thing just for Jackson's lisp. I'd go again to see the church scene. Just wow. Not to mention the swords on Gazelle's legs AKA the most badass thing I've seen in years.

I don't give a shit about Fify Shades. Kingsman for the win!

Romance - 1 Bowl of Popcorn
Comedy - 3 Bowls of Popcorn
Drama - 3.5 Bowls of Popcorn
Action - 4 Bowls of Popcorn
Creepiness - 0 Bowls of Popcorn
Adventure - 4 Bowls of Popcorn
Mind F*** - 0.5 Bowls of Popcorn (for that one scene)
Sci-Fi - 2 Bowls of Popcorn (for the gagets)

Poster credit: http://www.sundaydogparade.com/2015/01/kingsman-secret-service-poster.html

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Some real advice for once

I guess I should apologise for my earlier outburst regarding Gone Girl. I was really disappointed by the movie after hearing so much about it. Thus my initial reaction was somewhat unfair.

So to clarify: Gone Girl isn't that bad. However it is not what you'd call a cinematic experience. In fact you'll probably enjoy it more if you just rent the dvd and watch it with added toilet breaks.

On to more important things!

Number 1: Dracula Untold. It's not crap. Just a little cliche is all.

CGI is really nice and Lord Tywin makes an awesome vampire. Looking forward to the sequel (Dracula Retold?).

I think it's nice to see the character of Vlad Tepes from a different perspective like this. He is seen as something of a folk hero in some areas of Europe (although other areas agree that he was a monster) so the concept of a 'good' Dracula is not quite as far fetched as you'd think.

Number 2: Nightcrawler. Only just hitting Aussie cinemas now. I have to admit I have more than a little crush on Jake Gyllenhaal but I'll be damned if he wasn't amazing in this.

Jake's character, Lou Bloom, is a creature to be admired and despised simultaneously for his ruthless cunning and positive attitude towards filming people dying for the local news. For me the movie brings up some of the serious ethical issues surrounding the media these days but there's a nice hint of comedy as well.

Certainly could've been shorter, even though it's just under 2 hours, the plot is so simple it could've wrapped up in 90-100 minutes easily. Once again nothing lost if you go for the dvd release instead of the cinema.




Dracula Poster by Jim Perez Nightcrawler poster by Ben Holmes

Monday, 13 October 2014

Gone Girl - Do you get the feeling you've been cheated?



I flipped a coin today, caught between Dracula Untold and Gone Girl, and I have been left frustrated and confused. Dracula Untold has been getting bad reviews, Gone Girl has had critics raving (shock-horror); so when my coin told me to see GG I happily obliged. I wish I'd chosen differently.
Now allow me to explain my emotions with the smallest amount of spoilers possible:

Frustration: What do Fight Club, Benjamin Button, Gone Girl have in common? "David Fincher's direction" is one possible answer, but the panel will also accept "fundametally disappointing plotlines you need to over-analyse in order to enjoy". Why did I not notice this earlier? God knows.
But what frustrates me most? The 2.5 hour runtime. If I wanted to spend all day neck deep in melodramatic bulls*** masquerading as a crime thriller I'd tune into a Days of Our Lives marathon.

Confusion: What's so great about this movie? I really don't know. The characters perhaps? I did like the characters; even though the chemistry between the Nick and Amy was about zero. All the characters were interesting in their own way, Nick and Amy for the illusions they created, the detective for her intelligence, the lawyer for his sense of humour. Ultimately however nothing happened. Nothing of any consequence anyway. Suspense was built, plots twisted and characters developed: then nothing. Not even an "everybody died. The end." or a "then I woke up." just the slowly fading screams of my mind's disappointment.


My advice: I tried to like Gone Girl at first. I promise I did. I even enjoyed some parts while watching it. I liked Amy for some strange reason. All I can tell you though is don't bother. Read the plot on Wikipedia, you'll get the picture (that link is for the book's plot but they're basically the same and this one is more detailed).
I have a theory that some people set out to create a mindf*** of a story, and they succeed for a time; but when they reach the end they find there is nothing that will actually work for an ending so they give up altogether and call it "ambiguous" (like that gives it meaning and purpose).

I'm not even going to bother rating this. This wasn't even a film review, it was just an angry rant. It's not like anybody is reading this blog at the moment anyway...

Poster by Michael Lee-Graham

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Check it: Heathers

I love this movie. It's a badass 80s teen-romance with a wickedly dark humour. The one liners are lovable (What's your damage Heather?) and Christian Slater pulls off handsome, witty, romantic, psycho with surprising ease.

So here's the lowdown: Winona Ryder is Veronica; a bit like Cady Heron from Mean Girls. She's been running around with the 80s version of the Plastics: the Heathers (yes all three are called Heather). But of course she hates them. Then there's the new kid in school, J.D. (otherwise known as the young and beautiful version of Christian Slater) who makes quite the entrance when he fires a gun at a pair of jocks who were hassling him. When Veronica and J.D. (that's short for Jason Dean by the way) meet, things go a little, haywire...

That's all I can say without giving the game away. I think it's a fun movie for both guys and gals. It's not immediately intellectual but there are some interesting comments made about high-school culture and the way we deal with teenage suicide (that's just if you really want to think about it though).

I'm going to rate Heathers using my "Bowls of Popcorn Scale" (which may be subject to change):
Romance - 4 Bowls of Popcorn
Comedy - 4.5 Bowls of Popcorn
Drama - 3.5 Bowls of Popcorn
Action - 2.5 Bowls of Popcorn (out of 5)
Creepiness - 2 Bowls of Popcorn
Mind F*** - 0 Bowls of Popcorn
Sci-Fi - Bowls of Popcorn

The poster was designed by Adam Juresko, who has an awesome Etsy shop here
Ta,
Izz