Gone Girl - Do you get the feeling you've been cheated?

I flipped a coin today, caught between Dracula Untold and Gone Girl, and I have been left frustrated and confused. Dracula Untold has been getting bad reviews, Gone Girl has had critics raving (shock-horror); so when my coin told me to see GG I happily obliged. I wish I'd chosen differently.
Now allow me to explain my emotions with the smallest amount of spoilers possible:

Frustration: What do Fight Club, Benjamin Button, Gone Girl have in common? "David Fincher's direction" is one possible answer, but the panel will also accept "fundametally disappointing plotlines you need to over-analyse in order to enjoy". Why did I not notice this earlier? God knows.
But what frustrates me most? The 2.5 hour runtime. If I wanted to spend all day neck deep in melodramatic bulls*** masquerading as a crime thriller I'd tune into a Days of Our Lives marathon.

Confusion: What's so great about this movie? I really don't know. The characters perhaps? I did like the characters; even though the chemistry between the Nick and Amy was about zero. All the characters were interesting in their own way, Nick and Amy for the illusions they created, the detective for her intelligence, the lawyer for his sense of humour. Ultimately however nothing happened. Nothing of any consequence anyway. Suspense was built, plots twisted and characters developed: then nothing. Not even an "everybody died. The end." or a "then I woke up." just the slowly fading screams of my mind's disappointment.


My advice: I tried to like Gone Girl at first. I promise I did. I even enjoyed some parts while watching it. I liked Amy for some strange reason. All I can tell you though is don't bother. Read the plot on Wikipedia, you'll get the picture (that link is for the book's plot but they're basically the same and this one is more detailed).
I have a theory that some people set out to create a mindf*** of a story, and they succeed for a time; but when they reach the end they find there is nothing that will actually work for an ending so they give up altogether and call it "ambiguous" (like that gives it meaning and purpose).

I'm not even going to bother rating this. This wasn't even a film review, it was just an angry rant. It's not like anybody is reading this blog at the moment anyway...

Poster by Michael Lee-Graham