Some real advice for once

I guess I should apologise for my earlier outburst regarding Gone Girl. I was really disappointed by the movie after hearing so much about it. Thus my initial reaction was somewhat unfair.

So to clarify: Gone Girl isn't that bad. However it is not what you'd call a cinematic experience. In fact you'll probably enjoy it more if you just rent the dvd and watch it with added toilet breaks.

On to more important things!

Number 1: Dracula Untold. It's not crap. Just a little cliche is all.

CGI is really nice and Lord Tywin makes an awesome vampire. Looking forward to the sequel (Dracula Retold?).

I think it's nice to see the character of Vlad Tepes from a different perspective like this. He is seen as something of a folk hero in some areas of Europe (although other areas agree that he was a monster) so the concept of a 'good' Dracula is not quite as far fetched as you'd think.

Number 2: Nightcrawler. Only just hitting Aussie cinemas now. I have to admit I have more than a little crush on Jake Gyllenhaal but I'll be damned if he wasn't amazing in this.

Jake's character, Lou Bloom, is a creature to be admired and despised simultaneously for his ruthless cunning and positive attitude towards filming people dying for the local news. For me the movie brings up some of the serious ethical issues surrounding the media these days but there's a nice hint of comedy as well.

Certainly could've been shorter, even though it's just under 2 hours, the plot is so simple it could've wrapped up in 90-100 minutes easily. Once again nothing lost if you go for the dvd release instead of the cinema.




Dracula Poster by Jim Perez Nightcrawler poster by Ben Holmes

Gone Girl - Do you get the feeling you've been cheated?

I flipped a coin today, caught between Dracula Untold and Gone Girl, and I have been left frustrated and confused. Dracula Untold has been getting bad reviews, Gone Girl has had critics raving (shock-horror); so when my coin told me to see GG I happily obliged. I wish I'd chosen differently.
Now allow me to explain my emotions with the smallest amount of spoilers possible:

Frustration: What do Fight Club, Benjamin Button, Gone Girl have in common? "David Fincher's direction" is one possible answer, but the panel will also accept "fundametally disappointing plotlines you need to over-analyse in order to enjoy". Why did I not notice this earlier? God knows.
But what frustrates me most? The 2.5 hour runtime. If I wanted to spend all day neck deep in melodramatic bulls*** masquerading as a crime thriller I'd tune into a Days of Our Lives marathon.

Confusion: What's so great about this movie? I really don't know. The characters perhaps? I did like the characters; even though the chemistry between the Nick and Amy was about zero. All the characters were interesting in their own way, Nick and Amy for the illusions they created, the detective for her intelligence, the lawyer for his sense of humour. Ultimately however nothing happened. Nothing of any consequence anyway. Suspense was built, plots twisted and characters developed: then nothing. Not even an "everybody died. The end." or a "then I woke up." just the slowly fading screams of my mind's disappointment.


My advice: I tried to like Gone Girl at first. I promise I did. I even enjoyed some parts while watching it. I liked Amy for some strange reason. All I can tell you though is don't bother. Read the plot on Wikipedia, you'll get the picture (that link is for the book's plot but they're basically the same and this one is more detailed).
I have a theory that some people set out to create a mindf*** of a story, and they succeed for a time; but when they reach the end they find there is nothing that will actually work for an ending so they give up altogether and call it "ambiguous" (like that gives it meaning and purpose).

I'm not even going to bother rating this. This wasn't even a film review, it was just an angry rant. It's not like anybody is reading this blog at the moment anyway...

Poster by Michael Lee-Graham

Check it: Heathers

I love this movie. It's a badass 80s teen-romance with a wickedly dark humour. The one liners are lovable (What's your damage Heather?) and Christian Slater pulls off handsome, witty, romantic, psycho with surprising ease.

So here's the lowdown: Winona Ryder is Veronica; a bit like Cady Heron from Mean Girls. She's been running around with the 80s version of the Plastics: the Heathers (yes all three are called Heather). But of course she hates them. Then there's the new kid in school, J.D. (otherwise known as the young and beautiful version of Christian Slater) who makes quite the entrance when he fires a gun at a pair of jocks who were hassling him. When Veronica and J.D. (that's short for Jason Dean by the way) meet, things go a little, haywire...

That's all I can say without giving the game away. I think it's a fun movie for both guys and gals. It's not immediately intellectual but there are some interesting comments made about high-school culture and the way we deal with teenage suicide (that's just if you really want to think about it though).

I'm going to rate Heathers using my "Bowls of Popcorn Scale" (which may be subject to change):

Romance - 4 Bowls of Popcorn

Comedy - 4.5 Bowls of Popcorn

Drama - 3.5 Bowls of Popcorn

Action - 2.5 Bowls of Popcorn (out of 5)

Creepiness - 2 Bowls of Popcorn

Mind F*** - 0 Bowls of Popcorn

Sci-Fi - 0 Bowls of Popcorn

The poster was designed by Adam Juresko, who has an awesome Etsy shop here

Ta,

Izz